On today’s episode, Liz is joined by her husband, Greg, yet again to discuss their takeaways from the relationship bootcamp they recently attended. Take a listen to learn some relationship insights, new ways of thinking, and to find out a bit more about the bootcamp itself!
EPISODE NOTES:
Everyone has an “adaptive child” who is steering the ship when reacting to certain situations. When our adaptive child is in the driver’s seat, that can be referred to as “flipping our lid”.
“Flipping our lid” is when our brain is reacting and functioning from its most protective parts; most notably the fight or flight system, or amygdala.
If two people are on different spectrums in a relationship, it’s hard to get to the healthy zone in the middle.
The Feedback Wheel is a helpful tool in navigating disagreements and scenarios that may not be easy in a relationship. The wheel has four steps: What Happened, What I Made Up About It, What I Feel About It, and What I Need From You.
The fights we get into, the dynamics we get into, are not always just about us and our partners. It stems back to the adaptive part of ourselves and the family dynamics we grew up in and how those shaped us to feel, think, and react.
Through vulnerability we can be stronger.
CNI (Core Negative Image) is your partner’s idea about who the worst version of you is (and vice versa). The bitter pill with CNI is that there probably is some truth to that worst version of you.
Being reactive is not proactive.
Intimacy and relational mindfulness is a minute-to-minute and truly active practice.
RESOURCES:
Find out more about Rebecca Wong at her website.
Find out more about Jules Shore at her website.
To dive in to the relationship bootcamp, head here.
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
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